I woke up,
I lifted my arms,
I moved my knees,
I turned my neck….
Everything made the same noise:
‘CrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaccccK
….I came to a conclusion:
I am not old,
I AM CRISPY
GOD SAID TO ADAM
God Said,
“Adam, I want you to do something for me.”
Adam Said,
“Gladly, Lord, what do you want me to do?”
God Said,
“Go down Into that Valley.”
Adam said,
“What’s a valley?”
God explained it to him. Then God said,
“Cross the River.”
Adam said,
“What’s a River?”
God explained that
To him, and then said,
“Go over to the Hill….”
Adam said,
“What is a Hill?”
So, God explained to
Adam what a hill was.
He told Adam,
“On the other side of the Hill you will find a Cave.”
Adam said,
‘What’s a Cave?’
After God explained, he said,
“In the cave you will find a woman.”
Adam said,
“What’s a Woman?’
So God explained that to him, too.
Then, God said,
“I want you to Reproduce.”
Adam said,
“How do I do that?”
God first said, (under his breath),
“Gee…..”
And then, just like everything else,
God explained that to Adam, as well.
So, Adam goes down into the valley,
Across the river, and
Over the hill,
Into the Cave,
and finds the Woman.
Then, in about five minutes, he was back.
God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily,
“What is it now?”
And Adam said….
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(YOU’RE GOING TO
LOVE THIS!!!!!!)
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“What’s a Headache?”
IF
Inner Peace: This is so true
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and
boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every
day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension
without medical help,
If you can relax without alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
